Dealing With Conflict in a Relationship | MENTAL MAKEUP

I recently received a question on the ?Ask April? section of my site from a woman whose partner(s) always become very angry with her and she was very unsure what she had done to provoke such wrath. ?(You can read the exact question and response here.) ? This led me to share some tips on dealing with conflict in a relationship that I thought I?d share with you all as well.

1) You are only responsible for your actions. You are NOT responsible for anyone else?s behavior or REactions. Let go of blaming yourself for their anger, and realize that this is an issue within them. Do not blame yourself.

2) Are you doing the best you can for yourself & your partner? I believe the answer is YES; we are ALL doing the best that we can. Don?t be hard on yourself and think that you should do more. Do the best that YOU can do. That should be more than enough for anyone who truly loves you and wants to work on a relationship with you.

3) A HUGE part of a relationship is effective communication. Try to sit down and have a conversation with your partner about why he is so angry with you. Make sure the discussion has some ground rules:

? One person speaks at a time.
? There will be no disrespectful behavior- name calling, shouting, attacking.
? Open, honest, communication is required.
? Stay on topic.
? Attack the issues, not each other.
? Use ?I? statements and avoid blaming each other.
? Be empathetic.
? Try to see the other person?s point of view.

If you all are unable to communicate without fighting, try enlisting a neutral party to moderate, seeking professional couples counseling, or being open that this is a sign you should not be in this particular relationship. Just because you love someone doesn?t mean you have to be with them. You deserve a partner who can communicate honestly, effectively, and openly with you- and one who is committed enough to the relationship to problem solve with you!

4) A great way to break up a sequence of angry behavior is with humor. We all have patterns of behavior that we get hooked into and sometimes this pattern may include jumping into being angry over small things; oftentimes if we can find a gap between the event and our response, we have a minute to breathe and think about our actions and STOP ourselves from doing the same things we always do. Humor is a great way to insert this gap, this stop & pause moment. Discuss this strategy with your partner. But remember- you cannot change a man, and you cannot do the work for him. You are only responsible for you.

5) Disengage from arguments. Remove yourself from the situation. A shouting match is not an effective form of communication.

6) I strongly suggest that you examine your own behaviors and reactions to his anger. Aggression breeds aggression, so do not act aggressively. Remember to disengage!

7) If this continues to be a pattern in all of your relationships, I strongly suggest you examine the type of men that you are attracted too and why, so that you can be in a happy, healthy relationship that you DESERVE.

8) Remember your ?Relationship Rights?:

? To always be treated with respect.
? In a respectful relationship, you should be treated as an equal.
? To be in a healthy relationship.
? A healthy relationship is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous.
? A healthy relationship involves honesty, trust, and communication.
? To not be hurt physically or emotionally.
? You should feel safe in your relationship at all times. Abuse is never deserved and is never your fault.
? Conflicts should be resolved in a peaceful and rational way.
? To refuse sex or affection at anytime.
? A healthy relationship involves making consensual sexual decisions. You have the right to not have sex.
? Even if you have had sex before, you have the right to refuse sex for any reason.
? To have friends and activities apart from my boyfriend or girlfriend.
? Spending time by yourself, with male or female friends, or with family is normal and healthy.
? To end a relationship.
? You should not be harassed, threatened, or made to feel guilty for ending an unhealthy or healthy relationship. You have the right to end a relationship for any reason you choose.

I hope this helps you to find peace within yourself and within your relationship! Always remember to love yourself first.

Like this:

Be the first to like this post.

legion baby found alive in morgue rockies ashley judd second degree murders bobby petrino brian dunn